Reasons why old car is best car

"cletus44 aka Clayton Seams" (cletus44)
04/05/2015 at 13:31 • Filed to: None

1. A $5,000 classic is baller as hell. A $5,000 new car is a used Versa

2. You get to see "your car" in the background when you watch Herbie or The Rockford Files

3. You get to watch and laugh each time a new passenger reaches for a shoulder belt that doesn't exist

4. Only you know the precise method to starting your carbureted hooptie from cold

5. Old cars smell like cigarettes, oil, and fatherly wisdom

6. Cops tend to remark on how they "haven't seen one of these in years" when they pull you over

7. Park anywhere you want. People assume it's a tiny car show. Sidewalk? Playground? Doesn't matter, it's all fair game!

8. You get to look at the NAPA desk guy's confused face as he searches for a balance resistor in the system

9. Gas isn't THAT expensive

10. You become "that guy with the _____" instead of being known by your name

11. Are you lost? Follow your leaky oil trail all the way back home!

12. Every yellow light is a thrilling experience

13. Your lateness for any occasion can be blamed on "car trouble" and people will believe you

14. Chicks dig it

Oh and btw your NA Miata ain't a classic. Classic cars as defined by Pope Alexander VI are cars manufactured between Christ's death and the completion of the Sistine Chapel in 1481. Check yoself.

DISCUSSION (35)

bob and john > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
04/05/2015 at 13:34

"Gas isn't THAT expensive"

It is when your used to 45+mpg.

also, remind me what your insurance is :D

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > bob and john
04/05/2015 at 13:36

1. Gas is just old dinosaurs. Dinosaurs are made of dirt. Ergo gas is dirt cheap!
2. Insurance is optional depending on how brave/stupid you are

bob and john > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
04/05/2015 at 13:42

no, dinos are made of flesh, blood and bone decomposed over thousands of years. not dirt. (and in either case, land is also fucking expensive, so dirt aint actually all that cheap either)

2: -.-'

RallyWrench > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
04/05/2015 at 13:53

Kinja'd!!!

Amen brother.

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > bob and john
04/05/2015 at 13:54

Insurance on this guy is $138.50. For six months. Of course that's cause they know you'll only be using it for parades, shows, trips to the shops, and weekend cruises in nice weather. You can't legally use it as your DD, unless you're crafty and go to the nearest shop and get one wheel balanced right after getting pulled over so you can contest that you were taking it to the shop.

Kinja'd!!!

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
04/05/2015 at 14:03

Regarding number 6. I have been pulled over in my Cutlass supposedly because of my rear plate. The cop asked if it was current. Yes sir, I am a NC member of congress since 1972. I just aged very well and still look like I'm in my 20s. Long story short, he never asked to see the real plate, insurance, drivers license, registration... Nor issued any tickets or warnings. He just wanted to talk about the car.

Kinja'd!!!

bob and john > The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123
04/05/2015 at 14:07

i mean for DD duty .

also, thats US insurance. canada insurance is of an order or MAGNITUDES higher.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > bob and john
04/05/2015 at 14:13

Insurance for the 2002 is next to nothing. It's way less expensive than it is for my Wrangler, or it was for my xTerra.

However, its not car insurance that you have to worry about. Its life insurance.

bob and john > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
04/05/2015 at 14:15

again, american. Canadian insurance is WAY WAY more

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
04/05/2015 at 14:17

Can confirm. Especially number 8. Walk into NAPA and ask the guy at the desk if he has any guibos in stock. The reactions are always priceless.

Also, add gas to number five. My car, which has no gas leak, smells like my gas tank is an open 5 gallon bucket sitting in the back seat with a garden hose running into the engine bay.

desertdog5051 > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
04/05/2015 at 14:18

"You can pick up 5 friends and everybody has room."

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > bob and john
04/05/2015 at 14:19

Just got an online quote out of curiosity. $41.97 per month to drive it 10k miles per year for personal use (as opposed to business or recreational). Still pretty cheap for good coverage. Could go as low as $36 for minimum coverage.

bob and john > The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123
04/05/2015 at 14:20

again US.

let me give you a comparison.

for me, 20, with 1 speeding ticket, to insure a subaru legacy for personal use, 15k KM (about 10k miles) is 6.5-8 grand for min coverage

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > bob and john
04/05/2015 at 14:20

'Merica. Fuck yeah.

As long as you don't plan on seeing a doctor anytime soon.

In which case, Canada. Fuck yeah, eh?

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > desertdog5051
04/05/2015 at 14:28

*You can pick up 5 friends and everybody has room to bring a date

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
04/05/2015 at 14:30

Kinja'd!!!

This is why I bought a Cutlass over a Focus.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > bob and john
04/05/2015 at 14:31

That's because you're a 20 y.o. male with a ticket. That ain't the cars fault. PLUS you only drive a classic in Canada 4 months out of the year so it evens out.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > RallyWrench
04/05/2015 at 14:32

That thing is so awesome.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3
04/05/2015 at 14:35

I'll never not love that maroon barge of yours. It makes me all wistful for the 1980 Olds Delta 88 I drove once

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
04/05/2015 at 14:38

It still needs a lot of work, including frame rail replacement. However, once it's ready, I'll let you (and everyone else) know.

cornerslide > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
04/05/2015 at 15:05

15.) It keeps its back seat stories to itself.

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > bob and john
04/05/2015 at 17:55

Ouch...

RallyWrench > bob and john
04/05/2015 at 18:15

My Fairlane is $33 a month, full coverage as a daily driver with State Farm. Could be worse.

bob and john > RallyWrench
04/05/2015 at 18:15

JESUS guys, your in the STATES. That rate would NEVER happen in canada

RallyWrench > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
04/05/2015 at 18:16

So is yours!

RallyWrench > bob and john
04/05/2015 at 18:20

That's as may be, but I'd trade my low car insurance rates to not get boned on health insurance for my family.

gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun > bob and john
04/05/2015 at 20:34

Wow, I'm in BC, 21 with no tickets. It was $2200/year for a 2005 350Z for full collision and comprehensive...

I thought that was steep

bob and john > gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun
04/05/2015 at 20:34

ontario insurance rates are INSANE. its probably the ONE thing i hate most around here

gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
04/05/2015 at 20:50

So, whats a guibo?

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > bob and john
04/05/2015 at 22:45

I'm in Alberta and the insurance on my Lincoln is -$10 per month. YES MINUS TEN BUCKS a month. Let me explain because the Lincoln is only a second car I get a multiple policy discount on my insurance and the discount is $120 more than what the insurance for the Lincoln cost.

The Lincoln cost me $236/year and the multiple policy discount is $356 dollars.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun
04/06/2015 at 03:38

A rubber donut that goes in between the transmission and the drive shaft to allow for some flex.

JR1 > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
04/07/2015 at 14:44

Chicks dig it

Debatable

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > JR1
04/07/2015 at 21:12

Nope, the calculations check out. It's fact.

JR1 > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
04/07/2015 at 21:37

My big green monster with rust must be an outlier then.

Your boy, BJR > JR1
05/25/2015 at 23:47

Because Lincoln. If it were a Caddy, you’d quickly learn the answer to “how many honies is too much?”